Writing on envelopes

i've taken to writing random things down on random surfaces. like envelopes. and the back left over from my post-its (or just postits, which then get stuch anywhere), or the starbucks hot coffee holder thingee. or the new york times. i mean, i think it would seriously kill me too just actually carry around some paper. but i'm vaguely proud of myself - on account of my horrible track record of actually writing in my journal, i've started just pasting in random things that interest me instead, plus the objects i've written all over. i'd like to quote on of my favorties here: "i'll make sure she always carries a pen so she can take down evidence. If she has no paper, I'll teach her to write everything down on her tongue, write it on her thighs" and another, one i'd like to follow some day: "I'll teach her to write her manifestos on cocktail napkins." the journal thing still doesn't look that great, but hey, i'm no artist. i leave that to the pros. i just pretend i'm creative and sit in the corner with my scissors and glue and scraps of my life, and scribble with markers and say 'voila!' here is what matters, what i think in the moment, what makes me stop for just a moment and think or reconsider or feel thta boiling anger that starts in your stomach and rises in your throat until you're ready to vomit bile because this is not how it should be. and have i mentioned that november 15th is somehow far to close for comfort? no, that is not panic. i'll fix it. it always turns out okay. i DID make the right decision, now i just need to believe it. to end on a cheery note: i'm letting my hermione loose tonight, it's time for some hard core studying, which believe it or not actually fells good, like eating vegetables after a diet of tinkies, which maybe not everyone would understand anyway, but chemical food makes me feel gross, as appetizing as it seems at the time and that's procrastination too: seems good and fun, but after gorging myself on useless junk o good paper seems like heaven, as hard as it is to drag myself into doing it. whatever, lifes crazy. i don't pretend to understand. on to the latest paper(s)!!!